Categories: motherhood

Easy Ways to Have Easy Days (with Kids).

I’ll admit that I’ve always wanted to homeschool my kids! I love setting up the environment and preparing activities. I love watching them experience new things and seeing the looks on their faces when they start to make connections — AND when they realize they’ve been successful in completing a challenge. It’s the best, most rewarding time — and maybe why I became a teacher in the first place!

I’ll also say, that this now — this whole stay-at-home-and-self-quarantine-thing is not what I had in mind as a homeschool adventure! I imagined it more along the lines of going to the playground, walking around a park, visiting museums and library story times — and then coming home and discussing what we wanted to dive in to learning about next. So — this time, is just about skipping 80% of my dream! But here we are…

But in any event — I’m doing what I can to have easy days with my kids, and thought these tips might be helpful to some of you. Maybe to get ideas or inspiration as I know we are ALL home with our children right now!

Preparing the Environment:

I shared our daily rhythm a few days ago which was an entire post dedicated to how the children spend their days. But what I failed to do is talk about what I do to prepare for and respond to the events of the day. Now I don’t mean that I plan out their whole day or think of 50 things to do back to back to pass the time. But I do take a few minutes at the end of each day to think about next one.

I make sure the work/play space is tidy, switch out any materials that didn’t get used that day (that’s not very typical), and put away anything that was too crazy (I’m looking at YOU talking toys). I make sure we have paper and glue. I make sure the water container in the fridge is full (NO ONE has time to do this during the day). I check the snack cabinet and make sure there are snacks, bowls and cups available. I ask Sean to empty the trash in the kitchen since I know I’ll be asking the kids to throw things away. I wash fruits and veggies I know we’ll eat the next day. Basically, I do anything I can that will make the following day easier, for me.

Preparing Activities:

The other thing I do before I go to bed each night, is find ONE thing I want to do with the kids the next day. It could be a craft, a food prep idea, a movement activity — just one thing that I’ll keep in my back pocket so that if I’m feeling like we’re spiraling… I can say “hey! let’s do this!”. This is especially important, now, because ordinarily I’d say “let’s jump in the car and go ____” but right now, that’s not possible.

Of course, Pinterest is a great place to get these ideas. But in general I like to keep things simple. Nothing too crazy or too messy. Nothing that requires a ton of different materials (especially, since right now we can’t leave the house to buy stuff!). But this week, we’ve made pizza for lunch, made a little obstacle course in the hallway, and did a few workout/movement routines on YouTube. We made some crafts, did some science experiments, and got outside every day.

The final thing I’ll add here is: let them hold the spoon. Let your child pour the water or add the glue. Let them paint, and turn the pages of the book. Let them pick the show, and choose the game. Let them tell you when it’s good and when it’s enough. And just accept that the craft isn’t going to look like it did on Pinterest. The cookies are going to burn or you’ll forget to add an ingredient. The sink will overflow and the toothpaste will end up on the wall. It just will.

Set Yourself Up For Success (+kids, too):

Each night when I think about my next day I think about ways to make sure it’s going to be successful. Not that there won’t be tears (there will be tears). Not that I won’t yell (I’ll probably yell). And not that everything will be perfect and the kids will get exactly what they want, when they want it (that’s not realistic). But what is realistic is thinking ahead and setting up the house to ensure that they have a bit of control (as much as I’m willing to give them).

Some of that comes from the layout of the house. Some of it comes from the independence they are allowed to show. Some of it comes from the choices they are allowed to make. It’s a real-life “pick your battles”. I’m going to use Lola for my examples here because she’s two and in the prime “I’m independent and my ideas are the best ideas” phase.

For instance: I know that Lola will pick her rain boots to wear every time she sets her eyes on them. Part of it is because they are pink. Part of it is because she can easily pull them on and she likes that. So, if it’s going to be 10 degrees outside and I want her to wear her snow boots — I need to hide her rain boots. Simple as that. Out of sight; out of mind.

I know she can’t use scissors so despite having supplies readily available, those are put away. I know she eats play-doh, so I have that out when I’m in the room. I know she’s not quite tall enough to turn on lights, so I have light switch extenders on switches so she can do it herself. I know she slams doors, so I have finger pinch guards on the doors she’s always swinging. I know she will sing into her microphone every chance she gets, so I make sure to put it away at night so she doesn’t serenade us at 6AM.

Basically things I don’t want them to have, play with, wear, eat, drink, or see — I put away. Simple as that. If I forget, and they bring it to me I quickly say “I made a mistake, let me put that away”. Out of sight; out of mind. Do this, and your day will magically become easier. (If you have a four year old in your house, they are probably really good at reminding you of your mistakes — “Lola has the scissors again because YOU didn’t put them back where they belong”).

Self-Care:

And lastly, I’m going to put this here because I think it very much belongs: self-care. It’s so hard to be with kids all day! It’s hard when they’re yours and it’s hard when they’re not. It’s hard when you’re alone and it’s hard when you have a partner. It’s overwhelming and loud and crazy and fun and demanding and stressful. And now, in the midst of all of this sickness and quarantine it’s so easy to get caught up in all the negative stuff and forget to do things for you. You can search Pinterst and prepare the environment and set up activities and set up everything for success — but if your heart’s not in it and if your mind is just utterly feeling overwhelmed and loud and crazy and stressed — you cannot enjoy the day and you will not have an easy day.

I’m very aware of these things. I know what I need which is probably not the same for you. But I need to write. I need to scroll social media without a comparison lens. I need to chat with my friends and family and text them about my struggles and triumphs, and This Is Us.

Sometimes self-care for me is taking a few extra minutes in the morning and doing a face scrub. Sometimes it’s watching 20 minutes of One Tree Hill on Hulu while I’m giving Eva a bottle. Sometimes it’s grabbing an Oreo cookie and eating it in the bathroom while I’m pretending to brush my teeth (yep.). Sometimes it’s going outside for a few minutes of fresh air. Or taking an extra 10 seconds to breathe after I’ve buckled all three bodies in their car seats and I’m walking slowly, to my driver’s side door. Sometimes it’s playing songs from my childhood and belting out every word. Sometimes it’s being the last one to bed because it’s the first time the house is completely quiet all day.

And sometimes it’s doing all of those things within a 24-hour period just to feel like you again.

Those are my best tips for you. Have any for me?

Jasmine

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Jasmine

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