Motherhood: time moves so fast.

The photo on the left popped up on my “on this day” feature on Facebook — it was April 24, 2016. The photo on the right was taken last Thursday — he turned 19 months. You guys. Why is he such an adult? I mean, his sneakers and his little popped collar jacket and his backpack. You guys… his backpack?! I really can’t believe it.   

I say it all the time and I truly mean it — I never understood why people always talked about time moving quickly especially once you have kids but it’s so true. I blink and Javi has some new skill, some new characteristic or some new behavior. I look away for a second and he has another tooth, has grown another inch or no longer needs me to do something for him. Every time I look at him, he’s different. He’s so interested in learning life skills — emptying the dishwasher is a favorite but he’s totally invested in putting on his own shoes and socks, his clothing, his diaper, opening his own snacks, walking up and down the stairs by himself, WALKING everywhere, climbing up the scary structures on the playground… the list goes on.   

He’s a dare devil and a love bug all rolled into one. He’s no longer the squishy, cuddly guy in the left picture but now he gives me hugs and calls me mama and kisses me and makes the “mwah” sound. He brushes my hair after he brushes his and he says “ahhhhh” when I brush his teeth and then always insists it’s his turn to try. He says cat and dog and walk and up and down and water and milk and car — and tries to copy everything we say though the sounds are a bit jumbled still.   

He’s sneaky and silly and has so much energy. He takes down the gates, sneaks past them and then puts them back up as if it never happened. He helps himself to the snack cabinet and will eat an entire sleeve of ritz crackers. He loves Curious George and Mickey. He loves listening to music and dances but especially loves when I pick him up and we dance together. He loves reading the same books over and over again and doesn’t get bored of them. He loves petting the cats and is generally pretty gentle. At the end of a busy day he curls up on the couch with me and puts a blanket over him to snuggle with me. He puts his little hand on mine and he makes my heart melt.  

Don’t get me wrong, there are days I look back and think “wow, that was terrible” or think that I should have handled a situation differently, said different words, stayed cool and collected or didn’t yell or get frustrated. There are days I’m tired especially after working all day with kids and then I come home to Javi and there’s no down time at all. I’ll always say I never questioned myself as much as I did after becoming a mother. It’s hard. Every age is a different type of hard and every day he requires something different from me. But ultimately, my goal is to be the kind of mom that Javi needs me to be. Right now, that means dancing in the living room and giving him hugs on the couch. It means drawing with sidewalk chalk and running around in the yard blowing bubbles even after a 12 hour work day. It means giving him the time to put on his shoes or pick out his hat and explaining what’s going to happen next. It means planning fun family weekend outings, even if it’s to the grocery store. It means slowing down, not rushing to the car and letting him have a few minutes on the front steps of the house just watching the cars drive by. 🙂 There’s always a reason to slow down and take it all in, right?!