Dear Javi: Letter Two.

Javi,

You are one! I can’t believe it. I remember, so clearly, laying in bed writing a letter for you to read one day, all about the anticipation of meeting you. And somehow I’ve blinked and I’ve known you for a year. I remember hearing once to make time for your mother on your birthday because it’s a special day for her too. That sentence means a lot to me now. September 20, is the day you arrived. The day I became a mother and the day I began looking at life a lot differently than before. It’s incredibly different than the day before it and the day after it and I will forever love what September 20th marks for me and hope that you’ll always celebrate your birth with me.

You’ve grown so much in your first year of life. I knew it would happen but it seemed to be one of those things that occurred so gradually that I feel like I missed it. Since the day you were born I feel like the world started spinning a little bit faster. I started moving a little bit faster, just to keep up, and I’ve sure stumbled. But here you are, in one piece and we are just so thrilled at who you are and who you will be. Before I met you, I wondered what you would look like. Now I find myself wishing for the future and daddy brings me back to reality. “Don’t rush him. Enjoy him now.” And I do. I enjoy every midnight wake up (it takes me a few minutes to get my act together), I enjoy every meal, every car ride, every story read, and song sung and smile my way. I enjoy every time you hold my hand, kiss my cheek, and race to get away from me when I’m trying to dress you. I enjoy every walk, family outing, and evening bath. I want these moments to be forever.

Your birthday is so special. Because you are so special. People flock to you because of the light in your eyes and the smile on your face. You are so loved. Family and friends and even strangers in the grocery store want just a moment with you — for you to smile back at them when they say hi. And do you smile! Everyone comments on how happy you are. You are always in high spirits even when you’re sick and have every reason to be upset. You rally. And it shows.

I don’t know what your second year of life will bring. But I know that we’re ready. We’re so excited that you are apart of our lives and we wouldn’t want it any other way. You are such a part of us and of me that I no longer remember the feeling of wondering what you would look like. Now I want to know who you’ll be. I love you so much. And I can’t wait to find out.

Happy birthday!   Love, Mama