Javier Cash.

I was more than confident this baby was a girl. But the doctor and ultrasound tech say boy. I have to admit that when I found out… I sort of mourned the girl I didn’t have in my belly. But I think if it was opposite I would have mourned the boy I didn’t have in my belly. So either way, it’s a bit bittersweet. At least, it was for me. I’m glad we found out the sex of the baby. I thought about revealing it in some big and exciting way but ultimately — I just couldn’t get it together. Just like, when we found out we were expecting… I had big pinterest dreams about a pregnancy reveal and it just didn’t happen. We didn’t announce the name in some big and exciting way, either. 

When I thought we were having a girl, I had a name already picked out — for a long time. It came very easily to me. So when we found out it was a boy, we had some major brainstorming to do. The name didn’t come as easily. We looked online and in books and I thought about TV shows and movies that we liked and all the characters and people we’ve encountered in real life and in entertainment.    We knew we wanted “Cash” somewhere in the name. I always considered it for a first name but I also really like the idea of a first name that can have a nickname, too. I wasn’t sure how to shorten Cash anymore. So we bumped it into the middle name slot and kept looking for a first name.   I’m actually not sure how we found it. In conversation with each other, or others, or online, or in a book or in a movie or what. But somehow we said “Javier” and we both fell in love. It means “bright” which I think is fitting not only for new life but also for a child who will literally and figuratively become the brightest thing in our world. And I loved that the name can be shortened to “Javi”.    And so, we decided on Javier Cash Duffy. And unless, by some chance, he’s born and looks like he should be something else… that’s what the plan is. And of course, if by chance, the doctor and ultrasound tech got it wrong — I still have a girl’s name in my back pocket.