That’s A Wrap: Lacrosse.

In the spring of Javi’s Kindergarten year he played Intro to Lacrosse. He really enjoyed it — he looked forward to it each week and when we’d leave the field he’d ask how soon till he’d be back. So when spring time came around in first grade, I signed him up for U9 lacrosse, a team for first and second grade.

I was a bit shocked at the cost of equipment (what?!) and at the time commitment (two practices a week AND a game every Sunday morning?!) but other moms told me not to worry, he’ll use the same equipment for a few years and they said just make sure he plays for at least two years to get your money’s worth and make him stick with it, he’ll like it once he knows how to play!

He spent that entire season teetering between I love lacrosse and crying about having to go. It was like he wanted to like it, but just didn’t and couldn’t share why. So we went — every Tuesday and Thursday and every Sunday morning and I would watch him twirl his stick midfield, and ask for water breaks and not run… at all. And other moms would say things like oh, they all do that and practice with him at home and he’ll like it next year!

So he finished the season, and super reluctantly joined the final Jamboree — an all day event where he was supposed to play three back-to-back-to-back lacrosse games. We got amped up, drove 45 minutes to get there, fought for parking, walked what seemed like a mile, and played game one in the pouring rain. Game two was delayed because of lightning and there was a possibility game three would be rained out. So we left and called that season over.

And suddenly, nearly a year passed and it was time to sign up again. I had in the back of my mind all the things other moms told me: play for at least two years and once he knows how to play he’ll have fun. So I told him we already committed, signed him up and hoped for the best.

He and Sean would play lacrosse in the yard and he would love it. We would have pep talks before each practice about trying hard, and moving around. I would set limits during games you’re only allowed to ask your coaches to sit out ONE TIME. I talked about doing your best, and teamwork, and being a team player. I learned the language of lacrosse and we would run through the phrases used during games to make sure he understood what was happening. We showed up, cheered him on, praised his work, and supported his effort. And you know what? Every Tuesday, and every Thursday, and every Sunday — sucked. He HATED it.

Where, in first grade, he couldn’t find the words to explain what he didn’t like about it, now — in second grade, he was able to be extremely vocal. He didn’t like the pads, they were too tight. He didn’t like the temperature outside — afternoon practices were too hot and morning games were too cold. He didn’t like the fast-paced game with little to no breaks. He didn’t like the multitasking it required. He didn’t like being hit, pushed and tripped. He didn’t want to dive into a pile of kids all fighting to get the ball. He didn’t want the bruises from the ball hitting his legs. He didn’t want to be screamed at by coaches and other parents. And it all broke my heart.

And so, we stopped. We started by giving him the choice whenever there was an overlap… do you want to go to lacrosse practice or baseball? Practice or Cub Scouts? And he never chose lacrosse. Then we let him choose to skip a few games on Sundays, once for a friend’s birthday party, and again for camping. And his smile returned on Sunday mornings. And finally, while we were on our RV weekend away, we gave him the option to stop completely… four weeks early. And he was thrilled.

So — do I see the value in making a kid stick with something they’ve committed to? Sure… but not always. I think, at this point, I’ve come to realize that it’s equally as important to teach your kids to walk away from something that isn’t working for them, that isn’t a passion, that is hurting them, and that is making them miserable.

So, that’s wrap on lacrosse — for definitely this season. Maybe we’ll meet again… but I won’t hold my breath!